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Thankful Monday

My mind is racing with thoughts tonight.
So many questions I am pondering.
It is one of those late nights where the idea of my head hitting the pillow is feared, for I know that my thoughts will consume me.

It all started on Friday. My little babe broke out in hives before my eyes after taking the kids swimming. Within minutes, her entire forehead was covered in blotches and her eyes had started to swell. Allergies run strong in our family and I was not willing to take chances with my 6-month-old. We were minutes away from the urgent care, and I rushed over- wet clothes and all.
Me: a mom in a panicked fear, a knowledge that my baby was probably fine, but the nagging "what- if."
The receptionist: calmly and slowly begins handing me form after form. Clickety-clacking away on her keyboard, she momentarily lifted her eyes from the screen to say, oh-so-nonchalantly, "We see babies with rashes all the time..."
This was not a rash. THIS was the potential for a serious problem. THIS was causing my eyes to brim with tears. Didn't she get it? THIS was a BIG DEAL to me. THIS was not ok and I was not ok and my baby was NOT OK. I was handing over some cash for my co-pay. I was paying for it to be a BIG DEAL to someone. Urgent care. Urgent. Didn't she get it? I thought we needed immediate help. I could fill out those forms later. My baby might or might not have had a throat swelling at that very moment. Finally, she understood that the real emergency was that this mamma was about to go ballistic even if the baby was likely fine. She quickly went and got someone to check my babe's oxygen levels, which were fine. The hives seemed to start disappearing as quickly as they came. It may have been luck. It may have not have been an allergic reaction at all. It may have been an answer to my silent pleading prayer. I don't know. I won't ever know, but I was thankful for what it wasn't. I was ridiculously thankful, but I kept letting...

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